Thoughts of a girl

Missing you

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 04:25:51 GMT

I wish I would have thought of this before now but I guess it will work until you come home! What better way to give you a glimpse into our daily life while you are gone. Soon you will be home and this will be forgoten until you are gone again and without the contact that we have now so maybe if I get into the habit this time while you are gone it will be easier the next time and then when you are in the big blue ocean you can see how we are doing.

Today we didnt do to much woke up about 8 as per usual, came and had breakfast and coffee and watched some wiggles. Jack took a short nap then it was time to go on the fabric adventure when we came home jack was POOPED! so down for a nap he went lexi and i hung out and watched some tv woke jack up had leftover soup for dinner only if i promised to make breakfast for lunch and icecream for dinner!

Unfortunately it was a late night so i'm just getting ready to work now and then its a shower and to bed for me!

We miss you and can't wait at all until you are home!

Betrayal

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 02:12:34 GMT

I should have know better i should have gone with my gut when i suspected this a month ago. How could he do this?? How would he feel if I was the one making online 'friendships' with people with webcams who would masturbate for me how would he feel if instead of going to bed or spending time with them i wanted to talk to these other people online! I gave up any hope of ever having a GF again for him! I fell in love with him he promised to make me happy never to hurt me to love me to honor me for better or worse i took those vows more seriously than i have ever taken anything in my life no matter what i put him first im done i feel so emotionally shredded i dont care if he looks at porn some person there is no emotional tie with but the fact that he sits here less than 3 feet away talking to these women then he lies about it to me i knew something was wrong i knew what i saw this time and the time before that i knew better i have been down this road before ive been hurt and cheated on and betrayed and violated and abandoned. i dont know where to go from here why did we have to downsize to one car? if i still had my car i would be gone right now instead im stuck in this house

ok i suck

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 14:44:27 GMT

i never update never read lately i can't believe how busy my life has gotten. Jack is into EVERYTHING lexi is absorbing things faster than i can keep up i'm sewing my ass off starting a business www.princessandpea.com Busy busy i'll try to get to more later!

and the answer is....

Sat, 24 Jan 2004 22:01:45 GMT

1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES?

white

2 .WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING?

Little Women (to Lexi at nite)

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

don't have one

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?

mothering

6. FAVORITE SMELL?

new baby...

7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?

cat pee

8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE
MORNING?

left or right

9. FAVORITE COLOR?

red with periwinkle a close second

10. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR?

don't have one

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?

at least 3

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?

haha that means i win right ... i like Sophia but he hates it so Emily for a girl for a boy maybe Sam i don't know

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?

my family

15. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?

yes!!!!

16. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?

yes 2 elephants and jack

17. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?

Cool!

18. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
chevy celebrity

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?

a yummy creamy ale

20. DO YOU EAT THE STEM OF BROCCOLI?

yup

21. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?

i have my dream job.. now if only i could find something to do while doing it so i could have my own money

22. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

oh i loved having jet black hair but it was soooo hard to get out when i wanted a change

23. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR FULL?

half full

24. FAVORITE MOVIE?

you mean just one??? that would be like picking my fave child

25. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?

Yep.

26. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?

a stuffed frog and a air of slippers

27. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?

19

28. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?

hockey

29. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR?

dieing alone

30. SAY ONE THING NICE ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU

Thanks I needed something to do.

31. PERSON MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

????

32. PERSON LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

????

33. FAVORITE CD?

probably something i burned, with lots of female influences , ani, tori, indigo girls, dixie chicks, sarah m etc

34. FAVORITE TV SHOWS?

the west wing, csi

35. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD?

whats it on?

36. HAMBURGERS OR HOT-DOGS?

hamburgers unless they are kosher hotdogs

37. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK?

ibc black cherry or sprite

38. THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN?

Cinderella's castle in her throne after eating lunch in the castle

39. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?

don't think I have one

40. BURGER KING OR MCDONALD'S?

depends...

41. FAVORITE SOUND?

the sound of sleeping children.

Travels

Mon, 19 Jan 2004 15:57:31 GMT

Bold the states you've been to:

1) Alabama 2) Alaska 3) Arizona 4) Arkansas 5) California 6) Colorado 7) Connecticut 8) Delaware 9) Florida 10) Georgia 11) Hawaii 12) Idaho 13) Illinois 14) Indiana 15) Iowa 16) Kansas 17) Kentucky 18) Louisiana 19) Maine 20) Maryland 21) Massachusetts 22) Michigan 23) Minnesota 24) Mississippi 25) Missouri 26) Montana 27) Nebraska 28) Nevada 29) New Hampshire 30) New Jersey 31) New Mexico 32) New York 33) North Carolina 34) North Dakota 35) Ohio 36) Oklahoma 37) Oregon 38) Pennsylvania 39) Rhode Island 40) South Carolina 41) South Dakota 42) Tennessee 43) Texas 44) Utah 45) Vermont 46) Virginia 47) Washington 48) West Virginia 49) Wisconsin 50) Wyoming

Baby

Mon, 22 Dec 2003 00:52:04 GMT

Positive thought of the day

Tue, 16 Dec 2003 14:04:13 GMT

The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.

-- Aristotle

Wishing the baby would make a decision

Mon, 24 Nov 2003 20:10:53 GMT

So im on the third day of feeling extremely crampy my lower back bothering me much more than usual and contractions in no regular pattern... the cramps are definitely getting stronger... apparently i was very restless and moaning in my sleep last night.. it seems like days since i have really slept well i have so much pelvic pressure im beginning to feel like im going to split apart the worst part is it no longer hurts in my hips but in my yoni .. it feels like its bruised .. i just wish this baby would decide one way or another what it wants to do... this would be a good week for the baby to come though as lexi is in ct for the week with her dad.

Maya Angelou

Fri, 07 Nov 2003 13:39:55 GMT

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Maya really is a marvel who has led quite an interesting and exciting life. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring everyday...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words. Because of that, I share this....

by Maya Angelou

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older, I've set my body free;
There's the comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be.
Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now, But used to wear a seven.
And how about those pantyhose- They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses As the print's been getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to gray and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me, It's the outsides changed a bit.

But, on a positive note...

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these Three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Blessing Way

Thu, 30 Oct 2003 23:11:46 GMT

I had hoped to have a blesssingway before this baby is born with a small group but do to other situations it doesnt look like it will be happening so i am throwing myself a blessing way on Nov 23...

So this is the official invitation to my blessingway. The way it works is I send you something (probably a paper moon, I haven’t decided yet), which you decorate with a birth blessing, then send back to me, and I open them all on my blessingway night and decorate my birthing space with them. This way, even though we are so far apart in the world, your love will surround me as I give birth.
So, if you’d like to be a part of my blessingway, here’s what I need you to do. Email me PRIVATELY rather than replying to this post. Put “BLESSINGWAY” in the subject line. That way my email program can put the message straight into a special folder so I don’t lose any. In the email put your postal address, and all the names I might know you by (eg Real name, nickname / magic name and yahoo id) so I don’t get you mixed up with anyone else . Then sometime in the next week, I’ll send out the stuff.

Thankyou all for being a part of my journey.

It's a BOY!!!!!!

Mon, 27 Oct 2003 17:36:39 GMT

Well we found out at the ultrasound appointment on Thursday that we are having a boy. Steve thought i was going to cry ... i was a little disappointed i really was hoping for another girl. But i am in a much better place about it now and really looking forward to Jack's arrival.

adventures

Wed, 15 Oct 2003 00:35:56 GMT

ive been quiet the past month or so but i have been reading everything going on with everyone... been doing all sorts of projects around the house that have been neglected since getting pregnant etc... dh bought me a Bissell little green machine ( we only have on 8x10 area rug) and i felt i could do so much more with it than i could a stand up carpet cleaner so i cleaned the rug in our living room i knew it was dirty but i didn't realize how dirty it was i will say it took me about 4 hours to do the whole carper thoroughly i know it wont take that long again as i wont have to do so much again but wouldn't you know the next day it rained and that meant doggy prints everywhere and some big old dh prints as well... i also cleaned dd mattress with it who would think a mattress with a mattress pad would get so dirty, i want to do our mattress to but i m waiting on the air to dry out because everything is taking too long to dry with all this dampness...

ive also done incredible well at sticking to out meal plans the past few weeks!!!

my bathroom has been sooo clean the past 2 weeks as well probable helps that ive taken to cleaning the shower while im in it due to the water feeling sooo good on my pregnant aching body it gets cleaned quite often..

ialso think finally tackling the mess in our basement/playroom/laundry room last week was a major change in out house i threw out 6 huge bags of trash and im not quite done yet, now im in the process of going through all the storage bins of clothes etc that are down there,

the baby changing station came the other day as well and dh put it together and i moved the baby stuff into that instead of being all packed into one of my drawers though it sure looked like we had a lot more that way.

i did relax this weekend though and with dh off yesterday i really didn't do much around the house as he is working 2 jobs now it was great to have him home during the day though he had to work the 2nd job at night.. then yesterday when i was about to tackle the days worth of dishes i was having contractions so i thought it was better to just leave them and get off my feet.. so today has been mostly a get back into the groove type of day and i will say that dd and i had a wonderful nap this afternoon...

its funny ive alwasy heard that as your kitchen goes so goes the rest of your house... because i find that now that my basement is clean and organized (except that one 4x4 corner) the rest of the house has stayed amazingly so even though i have yet to find a home for the new sewing machine i just got for our first anniversary which has been sitting on the table for almost a week now and i still don't know how to use ive been saving it as a treat for when i get everything else done which should be in a couple days as we have possible company coming this weekend...

then after that i am quite sure ill be ready and decluttered enough to continue my white moon studies...

hopefully by then my car will be running again also... not to self call the auto shop tomorrow to get a quote on said car seeing as i forgot to do it today!!

Sat, 11 Oct 2003 13:16:14 GMT

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide
forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

-- Elizabeth Stone

can we tell im trying to motivate myself?

Thu, 09 Oct 2003 12:34:23 GMT

Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the
success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult
task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy
in overcoming obstacles.

-- Helen Keller (1880-1968) American Writer

Wed, 08 Oct 2003 12:20:01 GMT

Start each day with 60 seconds of self-appreciation. Stand before a well-lit mirror. Examine every wrinkle, smile line, dot, and spot on your face. See them as marks of wisdom and a rich life, fully lived.

positive quote of the day...

Mon, 29 Sep 2003 13:58:11 GMT

To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be
given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money
is the gravy.

-- Bette Davis (1908-1989) American Actress

motivating thought....

Mon, 29 Sep 2003 13:56:51 GMT

Eat right, age well. Be honest about your diet. Track everything you consume for a week, then see what you need to add or eliminate to build energy or shed extra pounds.

Pregnancy

Sun, 28 Sep 2003 01:32:47 GMT

Well yesterday i had great plans to do stuff around the house (i've been so devoid of any motivation lately)but thurs i hit a point where i was having contractions that were pretty intense and about 20 minutes apart and lasted a bit over 4 hours... this wouldnt worry me if i hadnt looked up info from when i was pregnant with lexi and realized that i started having contractions with lexi at the same point in my pregnancy only with her they continued until she was born at 33 weeks only this time i dont have the beneift of being with the doctor that i had been with for over 6 years who trusted m e and my instincts and here on the cape apparantly if you go into labout before 35 weeks they rush you to Boston hospitals which is not what i want to be doing... so once i called my dr friday morning they had me come in strapped me to a monitor and then seemingly dismissed me liek i was being paranoid which in a way i guess i was but i just wanted to be sure i wasnt dilating prematurely.. so by the time i got home i really wasnt in the mood to do anythign other than take a nap... i have all these great plans to do stuff lately and just dont feel like actually doing anything... not that lexi and her attitude is helping at all or the fact that the neighbor child is here all the time either seeing as his mom is on bedrest and if they arent inside they are outside and he gives her much more of an invincibility complex than she normally has... so at 28 weeks pregnant and oficially in my 3rd trimester my energy level is dropping faster than i need it to... though i did make it out to the verizon store yesterday to replace my defective phone.

stuff

Sat, 20 Sep 2003 03:55:40 GMT

completely loving the new computer but not loving how my back and legs have been feeling hte past few days.... it seems i can barely do anything around the house that takes me longer than 15 minutes without my lower back completely killing me... after my drs appointment we went shopping and out to eat and just about as soon as we got home i was back on the couch almost in tears at how bad my back felt ... and can i just say i do not remember the hip socket type pain when i was pregnant with lexi ... well at least its almost over... my poor husband i had told him how happy go lucky and how great i felt during previous pregnancies and this one has been sooooooooo different... ive been sick and tired and just plain blah...but we have finally come to an agreement on a girls name... and we had already agreed on a boys name now its just waiting til next month to find out what name we get to use and i soooo hope its the girls name... on a side note i was looking for somethign this morning and due to my usual spelling mishap i ran across information on dyspraxia and was alarmed at how my step son just has ALL of the diagnostic criteria which in many ways makes it easier to see where he is coming from in understanding him better... well its way past my bed time so im off to bed!!!

First Post

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 02:39:50 GMT

So my hubby surprised me and got me a new laptop as a surprise because he had gotten an new computer last week because the power supply or something went on his and to make it even better he also got me a wireless network card and router to go with it so now i can sit outside with lexi and check email work on studies etc... now i will get more lessons done as i wont be stuck in the basement anymore....

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 02:19:25 GMT

You are Gaia, the Earth mother.

Goddess Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

seasons of the witch

Wed, 10 Sep 2003 19:12:14 GMT

i got my new planner yesterday and its sooooo much better than last years i though the previous edition had alot of information but this years is incredible!!! i recomend it to everyone www.seasonsofthewitch.com

Faire?

Wed, 03 Sep 2003 22:55:56 GMT

Are any of you local sisters going to King Richard's Faire this year??? Its pretty close to me so i was just curious

Sun, 31 Aug 2003 20:42:49 GMT

first crushes

Thu, 28 Aug 2003 15:41:29 GMT

so i think lexi has her first crush funny thing is i think he is crushing back... its the cute little boy who lives a couple doors down from us he is going to be 5 next month he is quite sweet... she is absolutely hysterical to watch... Wyatt (the neighbor boy) being almost 5 had a bunch of barely worn clothes and his mom was asking me if i wanted them for aidan and i said sure that would be a great help ... anyway we brought the clothes home and lexi started sneaking a few items upstairs to her room i cought her wearing them yesterday mornign and asked her why and she said it makes her feel close to him ... ok so we got her dressed in something other than 3 sweaters and she continued on .. then afternoon came and she was wondering wehre wyatt was as he was usually home by then... so the day went on the about 830 last night wyatt and his mom rang the doorbell they had gone to six flags and wyatt spent his allowence money on a little lunch box type thing for lexi and he wanted to bring it to her she was already in bed ... they left and i hear her scream how could you let him leave with out letting me see him so i give her the present and she insists on running over to thank him ... he was saying how he didnt want to tgo to daycare the following day and lexi said mom you dont work why cant wyatt come here ... so Friday he will come here instead of daycare (his mom only works til noon on mon and fridays full days on tues and thurs with wed off) so if things go well on friday for everyone i have a job !!!!!!! at least til november when she id due to have her baby too which works out perfectly for me